Remembered What Might Have Been
by MommaMinion40
Summary: This is where the "Remembered Saga" almost began. Just a little one shot to hold you over until "Eternity to Remember" is up and running. Your favorite Viking and barmaid find their way back into each others arms in this love story to remember.
1. Chapter 1

**Remembered ~ What Might have Been~**

**A/N: **Okay sweet precious baby minions here is a present for being so sweet and patient with me. **I know you are all waiting on "Eternity to Remember" the final in my **_**Remembered Saga **_**and I am getting there.** Thank you for hanging in there and being so supportive while my life has been so crazy! I have 6 chapters written and 4 of those have been to my beta so I hope to make those changes and start post them as I do. I am hoping by the end of the month or mid June at the latest… God willing and the creek don't rise!

**This is where the **_**Remembered Saga**_** almost began** but then I came up with the ending and I needed more of the time line so I had to start right after "Dead to the World" instead of "All Together Dead" so I thought I would post this one to tide you over.

**Thanks to SASSYVAMPMAMA for editing this one for me! Love you girl! Whats right is all her and what is wrong is all me. I OWN NOTHING... CH does! :)**

**SPOV**

I sat there in his office trying to look calm. I had been summoned for a meeting. We were talking about the summit in Rhodes, who was going and why. Pam was sitting beside me and I was sitting directly in front of Eric. He was sitting behind his desk, barking orders and demanding respect, but what else would you expect from the Sheriff of Area 5. That is who he was tonight and every night since he forgot me; since he forgot he needed and loved me. I felt my throat catch at the memory of him holding me. Every once in a while I would catch something in his eyes as he looked at me, an emotion perhaps, and then he would look away and continue with the meeting. It was getting harder and harder to be in a room with him and not be in his arms.

A decent amount of time had passed since our time together, but tonight; tonight I longed to be in his arms. What I wouldn't give to feel that again. I remembered how safe it had felt being held in those strong loving arms. I closed my eyes as they began to fill with tears. I felt myself as I started to shake. I desperately wanted to ask him to hold me if only for a moment but I assumed he would laugh or worse, pity me.

I was just being emotional tonight, that's what I tried to tell myself. I was missing Gran, it was her birthday and I was hurting too because Bill was here in the meeting. Not to mention I was worried about starting a new relationship with Quinn. There were a million reasons for my emotions to be so out of whack, but I knew only one was the truth. I missed Eric Northman.

I still loved him even now as he ignored me, and I was also aware that we had lost what relationship we had had before his memory loss ever happened. He had become cold and aloof. He never wanted to be alone with me or talk to me, not like before he had been cursed by Hallow. Before that week he had used any excuse he could to get me alone and try to seduce me, but now, after we had been as close as a man and woman could get now he chose to distance himself and it hurt. I knew it wasn't my Eric's fault. I knew HE would never hurt me. The shaking was getting worse and I no longer could hold back the tears welling in my eyes so I excused myself without waiting on anyone's permission and bolted for the bathroom.

I slid down the stall wall and sobbed. I was sitting on a filthy BAR bathroom floor but I did not care. Nothing mattered. I gasped and tried to gather myself as best I could before Pam entered the room.

"Sookie, are you ill?" she asked and she actually sounded concerned.

"No, I'll be right back. I just need a minute." I stammered.

"Sookie, you have been leaking. Why are you on the floor? What is wrong?" she asked as reached for my arm, helped me up and turned me to face her. I started to lie and say I was not crying but I knew she could smell my tears so I did the only thing I could think of, I told the truth.

"I can't do this anymore Pam. I just can't. I am tired Pam. I just can't be strong anymore it hurts too damn bad." I sighed as I resigned myself to the fact I would have to tell her everything.

"What Sookie, you can't do what? What hurts you?" she asked, more than a little confused.

"I can't be in the same room with him. It just hurts too damn much. I can't handle it tonight."

"Okay Sookie, are you trying to be cryptic? Which one, Compton or my master?" she demanded.

"Eric of course, Bill is a rat bastard." That caused Pam to smile as I continued, "It hurts to be around Eric and not be in his arms. I haven't felt safe since he left me. I miss how he would sit and hold me, not having to say anything, just touching me. The way he would talk to me and make me feel special was something that no one has ever done for me. I miss him so much. Pam does he ever speak of me? What should I do?" I pleaded for any piece of advice she was willing to share all the while not believing what I was admitting to her.

"You could talk to him Sookie; you could attempt to tell him how you feel. I think it is the only way. You are going to have to go to him. He is….prideful and a warrior. He does not understand the feelings he has for you. But I am sure that he needs you Sookie." she said softly but that gave me little solace as I scoffed,

"He doesn't need me and my feelings…He doesn't have any feelings for me either. He won't even look at me, since New Orleans, so you can forget about him talking to me. He's hurt me so bad. MY Eric would have never left me alone that night. I don't know what to do." I snapped as I felt the tears return. If ever there was a time that he should have come to me, it would have been the night he had made Bill tell me the truth. It would have meant the world to me if he would have come to me at Hadley's apartment that night, but that was neither here nor there.

I paused for a moment while I confessed another secret to her, "I miss the way he needed me when he was under Hallow's curse. I miss the way he would look at me like I was his entire world. Pam… I loved him…" The tears were now flowing down my face. Pam reached to comfort me and while that surprised me, it felt good to be held. She smelled like Eric and for just a moment I felt safe. I guess her vampire senses told her I was getting myself together because she said,

"Well you are resourceful Sookie and you think outside of the box so I am sure something will come to you. You could always do something unique and fight for the man you love or you could simply TELL HIM THE TRUTH!" she snarked before adding "Come, we must return my telepathic friend, he is worried." she smiled.

We got back to the meeting just in time for Eric to tell me I had a clothing allowance for some suits and dresses I would need for the trip. He did it in a way as not to embarrass me, which was nice considering anything less would have made me cry or yell. It was pretty much a toss-up right then with my emotional rollercoaster.

"Everyone is excused. Except you Miss Stackhouse, if I can have a moment." he asked but it was a command. Everyone including Bill, Andre and Pam left the room. Eric and I were alone. I knew that I had sat there with blank eyes for most of the meeting and then bolting from the room and returning with puffy eyes probably did not help my case of 'really I'm fine' but that was my story and I was sticking to it.

"Sookie, do you have any questions or concerns about the summit?" he asked me, still in his business voice. Every time he used that voice with me it hurt and tonight it was doubly so.

"No. I understand what is expected. I won't let you…" I started to say 'I won't let you down' but I quickly changed my mind, saying instead "I won't let you or the Queen down. I know what is at stake." No pun intended.

"Fine then, you are excused. Have a good evening." He did not even look up when he effectively dismissed me. I don't know why but I didn't immediately stand. All I knew was that I just wanted to be in the same room with him. I wanted to hear his voice.

"Eric, do you have a set of luggage I could borrow? I had a set but I lost it when I had that house fire. I kept it off the kitchen, in the laundry room and well I never replaced it." I was so pathetic, grasping at straws to get him to talk to me.

"That is a legitimate business expense Sookie. Buy a set and bring me the receipt, I will take care of it for you," he said. I had closed my eyes to listen to his voice and when he said, 'I will take care of it for you' what I remembered was hearing him say 'I will take care of you.' As I opened my eyes the tears welled again and threaten to spill and of course he picked that moment to look up at me.

"Sookie, are you crying?" he said softly. It was a voice I remembered and longed to hear.

"No, my eyes are just tired. I haven't been getting enough sleep." _Because I am dreaming of you every night wishing you still loved me. Hell, wishing you still liked me _is how I finished that sentence in my head.

"My bullshit meter is reading false Sookie," he snapped out sharply but then he walked around his desk and sat beside me on the sofa. I looked down at my hands that were folded in my lap, hoping he would not notice that they were shaking. He put a gently hand on my shoulder. That was all it took and the trader tears made their way down my face. He put a finger under my chin and brought my eyes up to greet his and he looked at me with a sudden knowing.

"It wasn't just sex, we were in love; we loved each other didn't we?" he asked me in that voice that I had longed to hear once again. No longer able to lie or hold it in I shook my head yes as he pulled me to him. He held me and rocked me gently. I smiled into his chest and whispered "thank you." It was such a small gesture him holding me. I needed him so much and I wanted him to need me, but it was impossible. He was Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area 5 and he needed no one let alone me, but here he was, holding me and cooing comforting words to soothe me. I was sure he would laugh and send me away if I ever told him the truth of it, but he didn't; he just held me and that had to mean something, right?

**EPOV **

Her little hands were shaking and then I saw her eyes. I suddenly just knew. I knew we had been in love. Then she thanked me. She thanked me for holding her. How fucked up is that? How badly had this girl been hurt to thank me for holding her? I wondered if had I done this to her? I had known for some time that Sookie and I had been closer than she had lead me to believe when she supposedly told me everything about my missing week, but the look in her eyes just now told me almost everything I wanted to know. She needed me as much as I needed her. It explained the way I felt and the pull I had whenever she was around, I now understood.

"Sookie, I know you are brave and I know you can take care of yourself, but let me care for you now. Let me take care of you tonight. Let me help ease the burden you think you have to carry alone. Sookie, if you would just be honest with me and let me in, Sookie I swear to you…" she looked up at me as I said swear and shook her head no. Had I made her a promise before? Had I broke a promise before? That was soon answered.

"No, no more promises. Last time you just left… you where gone… you couldn't keep the last one and it broke my heart. I know that it's not your fault. I know that, I know that it is Hallow's fault, but it hurts too much just the same. Just let me have this for a little while longer, please for a few more minutes. I feel safe." She barely got the words out as she pushed herself tighter into my embrace and kept her head still on my chest. She was softly sobbing; it was almost as if she didn't want me to know she was crying. I rocked her and let her cry. I stroked her soft hair and just breathed her in as I pulled her closer to me.

I held her like that for a long time before she suddenly rose and said, "I should let you get back to work. I'm sorry to have bothered you and I'll pay to have your shirt cleaned." She hiccupped, her breathing was unsteady as she turned to go, and at first I thought I could let her leave. A few seconds after she walked out of my office I found that I could not and I flew out the door after her beating her to her car.

"Sookie, please, let me drive you home. You have been upset and by your own admission you are very tired. Just this once Sookie, please let me care for you." I asked one more time very gently. I wanted to add _'I need you don't leave me'_ but I held it back.

"Okay Eric, please drive me home." She said sounding defeated and tired beyond her years as she handed me the keys to her crappy little car.

**SPOV**

As we pulled out onto the main road in front of Fangtasia, Eric reached over and took my hand in his lifted it to his mouth and kissed it. It was such a simple thing yet again, but huge for me; I smiled as he released my hand and touch his cheek as I pushed a stray strand of his long locks behind his ear. God I had missed touching his hair. He reached for my hand again and this time he just held it in his. Just my hand in his made me feel so safe and wanted. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the head rest. The next thing I knew Eric was quietly pulling me from my car. He carried me to the front door and fumbled with my keys.

"Invite me in Sookie." he whispered with some pain in his voice. He thought I had rescinded his invitation from so long ago. I never had.

"I didn't rescind it Eric," I said to him as I kept my head on his shoulder. Not knowing how long this act of kindness would last from him I wanted to take advantage of every moment. He carried me inside and just held me in his arms as he looked around the room like he was searching for something, but he said nothing. He looked into the den and walked in there with me. He sat down with me still in his arms on the couch. I stared at the fireplace and wished that there was a fire and we could cuddle there in the floor.

"Sookie, what do you need? In this moment, what do you need?" His eyes matched his voice soft, gently and full of concern.

"Just you. Will you start a fire in the fireplace and just sit with me for a while?" I asked almost hesitantly, thinking he was going to bolt any moment.

"Of course, lay here. I will be right back." He smiled a very 'My Eric' smile as he went to get the firewood from the porch and it was not lost on me that he seemed to know where everything was. Once the fire was built and going, he picked up the quilt and spread it on the floor. He grabbed a couple of pillows off the couch and tossed them down as well before reaching his hand out for me and smiled as he beckoned for me to come to him.

He looked down at the quilt as we went to sit down and he said, "This is a truly hideous quilt." It was the exact same thing he said while he was cursed. My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped and then giggled.

"You said that the last time you laid on it too!" He threw his head back and laughed with me. It was a great feeling. After taking a few minutes wiggle around to get comfortable on the floor we just sat there and held each other.

**EPOV**

When she had touched my cheek in the car I knew, I knew that I loved her and I had to get her to believe me. I knew it would be a struggle but I had to try. I would fight for her. If that damn tiger thought he could just take her or if Compton thought he could worm his way back in her life, I would kill them both before they hurt her again. The tiger had more than a few HUGE secrets I knew she did not know about and Compton, well he never deserved her in the first place. I needed her and would have her; she would be mine but more importantly, I would be hers.

Once we had arrived at her home I was touched again that she had not rescinded my invitation. The Tiger had been here. I could smell the bastard, and I wanted to kill him but then she looked up at me and all I saw was love shinning out of her eyes. I asked her what she needed and it was a simple request, but she seemed to think it was a lot from me. She wanted to sit with me and talk by the fire. The way she worded it "Just you…" made me ache. I built a fire and made a little nest for us to sit and cuddle. I said something that was familiar to her. It made her gasp and brought more tears to her eyes but in the end she laughed which caused me to as well.

I held her for hours. We talked of nothing and of everything. I told her of my human life and stories I had not thought of in hundreds of years. She reached and touched my face again as I brushed a very tender kiss to her forehead.

"Sookie, why can't you tell me what happened between us?"

"I have. I told you when you blackmailed me," she stated bluntly and it was obvious that she wasn't trying to be cruel, but it made me wince. I was not proud of that moment or the night before when I hurt her little arm. Those nights could not be counted amongst my finest hours.

"No Sookie that is not what I meant. Tell me everything, please, I want to know." I pleaded.

"I can't. I have to protect …. I have to…" she whimpered and stammered.

I could feel my blood boil. Who was she protecting? Had someone hurt her and now she was afraid of the retribution I would take against them? Was it her stupid brother, the shifter, Compton?

"Who Sookie, who are you protecting?" I tried to ask gently while aggressively tamping down my anger at this unseen foe.

"You, My Eric, I have to protect him. He is in there somewhere," she started as she pointed to my head and then my heart, "and he needs me and is fighting for me. I know he is. He is fighting to get back to me because he loved me so much and I have to keep him safe." Her statement really made little sense to me, but I thought I understood.

"You think that if you have feelings for me, you are being unfaithful to the man I was because I do not remember our time together?" I tried to make sense of what she was trying so hard to convey to me.

"No Eric, I know you're the same person. I know you don't remember, but there are things that happened between us that are sacred to me. Things we did and said that you just can't….won't be able to understand and I won't ever diminish what I had with you during our time together. I won't ever settle for less again because I know what real love feels like and I deserve that. I have come to realize that I deserve that kind of love and nothing less and so do you! So I have to keep that time sacred. I have to hold it in my heart and keep it safe. You're right, it is a burden but it is a burden I have to carry alone." And she wept.

"Sookie, let me in, let me love you. If you think I cannot or I do not love you, you are wrong. I have loved you since Jackson. Sookie, you have to let me in your heart. Or is it too late for me; do you now want the tiger? Do you think you will find true love in _his_ arms?" I tried not to sound accusing but it was. It was a horrible thing to say to her.

"That is not fair. _**You**_ have **not** talked to me in **months**! And when you did deign to communicate with me you would send Pam. Or if you lower yourself to actually speak to me you were so **cold** and **distant** that I cried for days after I saw you. I was lonely. It felt good for someone to need me and to hold me. I know it was wrong! OK! Is that what you want to hear? I know it was wrong of me to use Quinn but I was so scared and alone. I just wanted the pain to stop…I just wanted the pain to stop and you were gone…you left me…you left me…" The sudden fury she started with was gone as she lay down in a little ball on the ground beside me.

I did not know what to say, I went to move closer to her and this seemed to surprise her. She seemed equally surprised when I pulled her into my lap. I then stroked her hair and hummed to her in an attempt to soothe her and stop her pain.

"Sookie, I am sorry. I was not trying to… I should not have assumed… I am sorry." I said quietly. She nodded her head and relaxed against me.

**SPOV **

It hurt for Eric to call me out on the Quinn crap but he was right to do it. It was wrong of me to use Quinn. I was in love with Eric and I knew it but I still encouraged Quinn and it was wrong. Gran would be so disappointed in me. I curled up in a ball and cried. I felt Eric pull me to him.

He was humming to me and stroking my hair and it felt so good. He apologized to me for bringing up Quinn. It was kinda funny. You could tell he was not used to making apologies. I was so sleepy and I was about to fall asleep when it hit me that Eric had just told me he loved me; he said he had loved me since Jackson. Could he really love me?

The question in my head now was 'what do I do now?' I remembered what Pam had said, 'fight for the man you love and tell him the truth.' And there was but one truth in my heart: I loved Eric Northman and I wanted him to know how much.

"Eric, I love you only you and I need you to make love to me." I knew it was the one thing that we needed. It would heal so much. He looked at me like a starving lion looks at a gazelle. He took a breath and seemed to tap that down before he whispered.

"Yield to me Sookie and I will give you everything I am." It was a promise, a vow and I believed every word.

"Eric, I yield to you. I am yours." I said in a strong voice. I was full of confidence suddenly. "I love you and you are mine. I am never losing you again and I need you now! I need you to make love to me and show me I am yours."

He growled as he picked me up and walked with confidence to my bedroom. He stripped his clothes as I stood watching his every move.

"Undress for me Sookie, slowly." he commanded and I gladly obeyed. I pulled my shirt off and tossed it at him. He was not amused. He was very serious and there was no hint of playfulness in his eyes. This was going to be a hurricane and tornado all rolled into one and we both knew it. When I was down to my bra and panties he stepped forward.

"Let me." was all he said as he kissed down my neck to my breasts. He bit the front of the bra and ripped it off me. He took one nipple in his mouth and palmed the other and rolled my nipples in the most luscious way. I was panting and there was a familiar pooling happening between my legs that I had only felt with him. He leaned back and looked at me.

"You want me Sookie." It wasn't a question it was a statement. He could smell my arousal. "Tell me what you want. I will give you anything." he growled again.

"Taste me Eric. Lick me until you make me come and then bite me and drink me baby, please." I begged for what I wanted and he loved it.

He picked me up and ripped the panties off me before throwing me back onto the bed. He dove between my legs and did things to me I cannot even begin to describe. He kissed the little bundle of nerves like he was kissing my mouth. He used his thumbs to spread me apart and kiss me over and over. Then he would just use the tip of his tongue to torture my senses. I saw a bright light and felt like I was floating and as I screamed his name he bite me. Heaven, it had to be heaven.

He kissed his way up my body and then everything changed. There was no frenzy, no hurry, as he entered me slowly and rocked us back and forth. He pulled me up, wrapping my legs around him bringing us both into a seated position so I was face to face with him.

"I need you… won't leave… stay… always stay…" he moaned. I wanted to remind him that he left me, but then it hit me he meant he would not leave… he would stay from now on. Tears stung my eyes as I pulled myself to him even tighter.

We were wrapped around each other and at this angle and in this position we kissed with ease and then he just pressed our foreheads together and I cried from the sheer joy of it. I wanted him to know how much I loved him, but was unable to speak. I continued to cry but when I saw his sweet smile I knew that he knew these tears were tears of joy. He smiled and whispered,

"I love you Sookie. I love you! You are mine. Drink from me and be mine." I really had no idea what that meant, but for once I did not question him. I simply drank from his wrist that as he offered it to me. When I finished he drank from me too and as he moaned I whispered,

"I love you too Eric, I love you!" I could feel him even stronger than I had been able to in Jackson. It was confusing, but I could feel how much he loved me. He was feeling so many emotions; lust, love, need but also confusion. I was so tired that I once again did something unusual, I said nothing. We were both spent. We just laid there in each other's arms and rested. There were no words spoken for a good half hour only sweet sighs and loving touches. He continued to struggle with something and looked as if he was tired as he asked me,

"Sookie, come home with me. You can sleep with me in my resting chamber. I want to wake this night with you in my arms and when I rise we can go get the luggage you need." He said the last part as more of an afterthought. He was happy. I smiled and nodded yes.

"Just let me wash off and pack an overnight bag. I have a duffle somewhere in that closet. I will just hop in the shower and if you can grab the duffle for me I will hurry so we can go." I was so happy I was basically babbling. I took the quickest shower known to man and hurried out to check on Eric and pack the bag. I could feel him through the blood we had just shared and it was a startling feeling of total guilt, pain and despair. I ran back into the bedroom and he was sitting on the side of my bed with the duffle beside him but his head was in his hands and when he looked up at me he looked almost lost as he reached for me with his hand trembling slightly.

"Sookie, my sweet Lover, I remember everything." He dropped to his knees and buried his head in my stomach as he looked up at me I saw his red tears streaming down his face.

"Oh hell!" was all that would come out and seemed to cover it all. The tide had changed and he needed me more than ever. He had held me when I cried and now I would do the same for him. He looked up at me with that look, the look I had told Pam about; once again, I was his entire world. We would get through this… all of this. After all, he was all I really needed and I was all he needed we just had to remember.

**A/N :And that is where it almost all began**… but then the MUSE hit me and **Please Remember Me **was born! Please let me know what you think and once again thank you for your patience as I try to get "Eternity to Remember" up and running! MommaMinion love her baby minions and thanks you for all your support!


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry to advise you all that I have serious health issues and will not be writing for a while and my beloved hubby thought this would be a good time to ask for a divorce. I am devastated and just don't have it in me to write at the current time. Please forgive me. HUGS


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